Welcome to St. Cyrano -- A Website for Married Lovers

The 1898 French play, Cyrano de Bergerac, featured an eloquent man who became the romantic wordsmith who helped his friend Christian woo the woman of his dreams. Christian had the love in his heart, but was not skilled at coming up with the right words to convey his love and win over the object of his desire.

Helping Husbands and Wives

Today, many husbands struggle with crafting the words to woo and arouse their wives. And many wives struggle to get past the stresses and activities of everyday life in order to get their minds in the right place to enjoy sexual intimacy with their husbands. When a couple’s physical relationship is neglected, the marriage falls short of its potential and may suffer greatly. Scientists, therapists, and numerous authors have declared that the brain is the most important sex organ, and most women strongly agree with that statement. Once they are aroused and in the mood, most women find sexual intimacy with their husbands to be very pleasurable and bonding. The big problem is getting in that right state of mind. The hard part is “shifting gears” at the end of a crazy day or overcoming negative thinking. Once the gears are shifted, the passions and pleasures of sex are usually gratifying, and good for strengthening the marriage and providing other health and emotional benefits. In some cases, the wife may want take the initiative to get both her husband and herself in the right frame of mind for enjoyable intimacy.

Getting “in the Mood”

There are many excellent Christian resources for couples wanting to improve their physical love life. Books, such as Sheet Music by Kevin Lehman, provide excellent advice, and some Websites sell “lover’s games” that can lead to some pretty hot nights of marital bliss. But, many of these books and tools are of limited value when it comes to helping a distracted or stressed woman shift gears. Until she’s in the mood, a wife is not likely to want to play a sexy game, and a counseling-style book may help support positive changes, but a husband who pulls out such a book out on a date night may not score big points.

When a couple’s physical relationship is neglected, the marriage falls short of its potential and may suffer greatly.

Helping a woman “simmer” and get in the mood is one of the most powerful keys to a blissful sexual relationship for a married couple. Some non-Christian counselors recommend that couples use erotica to help a woman get in an aroused state of mind. They may suggest explicit romance novels or even videos to help get their heads in the mood for sex. Nearly every Christian marriage counselor would strongly advise against that approach. The dangers and drawbacks of sexual videos and overly sensual books are many. Husbands may get more aroused by the visuals they see than the wife that they are with, and the lustful desires can draw each partner away from his or her spouse. At St. Cyrano, we believe that the only sexual fantasies that don’t fall into the category of sinful lust are those that involve just the husband and wife who are reading the stories. Those sexual thoughts and stories help build a desire for each other and fuel the kind of sexual enjoyment that God intended for married couples. So, as many Christian marriage counselors and Christian sex therapists recommend, couples can feel free to turn up the heat when speaking or writing to each other.

Spicy "Pillow Talk" and More...

If a husband were to write his wife a spicy note, whisper a spicy “pillow talk” suggesting how he wants to pleasure her, or craft a sensuous poem to seduce his wife, few people would find any sort of problem with that—providing, of course, that the content of his poem or story was strictly within the context of their marriage and was in line with both of their interests. As one Christian marriage counselor advised, “If you want erotica, write your own, featuring only you and your spouse.” That may sound like a great idea that would be enjoyed by both husband and wife, but for most people, that challenge would result in a serious case of writer’s block. The love and desire might be there, but the skills of crafting a loving and arousing story are often underdeveloped. That’s where St. Cyrano can help! And for a wife seeking to get her mind and body aroused, so she can give to her husband without first requiring him to get her aroused, these stories could be just what is needed.